907. Mason & Dixon

Mason & Dixon
Thomas Pynchon

1997
Around 775 pages

I find Thomas Pynchon tedious and exhausting, and he really outdid himself here. Not only is this a 775 page work, but it also earns extra annoyance points with its frequent capitalization and overly stylized diction. 

Well, if you ever wanted to read a fictionalized account of the collaboration between Charles Mason and Jeremiah Dixon, this is the book for you. I'm not sure why you would be fixated on perhaps the most boring partnership in American history, but that's your business.

If I had to come up with a positive to say, I guess I would point out that it is more readable than Gravity's Rainbow, and there wasn't any disturbing imagery that is going to haunt me forever. So that's something I guess. What a yawn.

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Mark Knopfler wrote a song about the book called "Sailing to Philadelphia,” originally performed as a duet with James Taylor.

UP NEXT: The Life of Insects by Victor Pelevin

832. Vineland

Vineland
Thomas Pynchon
1990
Around 480 pages

The signs of us being in a slump were apparent for awhile, but I was in denial. One of the worst novels I have ever read is looming ahead, and now we have to deal with yet another Pynchon. 

The story is set in California in 1984. Former hippie Zoyd Wheeler must dive through a window every year to keep receiving mental disability checks. Federal agent Brock Vond forces Zoyd and his 14-year-old daughter Prairie out of their house. They hide from Brock, and from Hector Zuñiga (a drug-enforcement federale from Zoyd's past, who Zoyd suspects is in cahoots with Brock) with old friends of Zoyd's, who recount to the mystified Prairie the story of Brock's motivation for what he has done.

Pynchon novels are always trippy nightmares chocked full of no longer relevant references that go on about 400 pages too long. This one does little to distinguish itself from its other self-satisfied peers. I guess the Star Trek allusions make this unique. Another one you just have power through.

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Received mixed reviews

UP NEXT: American Psycho by Brent Easton Ellis

655. Gravity's Rainbow

Gravity's Rainbow
Thomas Pynchon
1973
Around 760 pages

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. After the high that was The Black Prince, we were due for a reckoning. As the sage of our time, Ms. Taylor Swift, puts it, "I don't like how flying feels like falling 'til the bone crush."

I'm sure that I've complained on this blog about my S.O. liking Thomas Pynchon. Well, even he won't read this monstrosity, which really shows us what deep shit we are in. Okay, let's get this over with.

Summarizing a book like this is a thankless task. I feel like writers like Joyce and Pynchon suck all the heart and magic out of prose, reducing it to some sort of mad mathematical formula designed to create as much intellectual stress on the reader as possible. In tomes like this, there is always plenty of weird sex stuff, which might be the bulk of the appeal this holds over the literary crowd. 

For me, this held the same amount of enjoyment as reading the Yellow Pages. You either hate this, or you have to get a Gravity's Rainbow tattoo. I'm not sure how genuine the readership of this one is, the appreciation feels performative (which is even lampshaded in the most recent Knives Out movie). 

I'll give one star because I hated it slightly less than its spiritual successor, Infinite Jest, and I'll need a way of demonstrating my contempt later.

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Though the book won the National Book Award for 1974, Pynchon chose neither to accept nor acknowledge this award. 

Time named Gravity's Rainbow one of its "All-Time 100 Greatest Novels."

Dedicated to Richard Farina.

UP NEXT: The Honorary Consul by Graham Greene

589. The Crying of Lot 49

The Crying of Lot 49
Thomas Pynchon
1966
Around 150 pages

This is going to be the most favorably reviewed Thomas Pynchon novel on the List, because it is the shortest.

The main character is named Oedipa, so the eye rolling began pretty early. Oedipa is married to Mucho Maas, who is a major perv, and regularly sees a therapist Dr. Hilarius, who is a major psycho. Her rich ex lover dies, leaving her as the executor of the estate. She meets the ex-lover's lawyer, and begins an affair. A teenaged band, The Paranoids, become fascinated with their affair and follow them around.

God, these character names. Nobody behaves realistically, and the humor never hits the mark for me. I don't like these kind of drug induced stories, where everybody seems to be either hallucinating or stoned out of their mind.

But like I said, I appreciate that this wasn't 700 pages. 

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Included in Time's 100 Best English-Language Novels from 1923 to 2005.

Radiohead alludes to the novel in the name of their online merchandise shop and mailing list, W.A.S.T.E.

UP NEXT: Giles Goat-Boy by John Barth

576. V.

V.

Thomas Pynchon
1963
Around 550 pages

My old nemesis. I knew the day would come when Pynchon joined the List. I just wished I would be dead by then. Oh well, there's still hope. We have five more of these to go.

V. describes the exploits of a discharged Navy sailor named Benny Profane. He interacts with the Whole Sick Crew, which is an assortment of bohemians and other people I'll be forced to watch Cats with in hell. I guess the main narrative is Herbert Stencil trying to locate the mysterious entity known as V. 

Pynchon always bores me into a stupor so I always have a hard time following the plot. Bloated with really unlikable characters and I hate his style.  

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

The line "Yesterday's headlines blown by the wind" in Radiohead's "Scatterbrain" was inspired by a passage from the novel.

V for Vendetta includes the title character V quoting and reading from Pynchon's book.

UP NEXT: Herzog by Saul Bellow