209. What Maisie Knew

What Maisie Knew
Henry James
1897
Around 250 pages

I've heard it said that the first sentence of a novel is the incantation that brings it into being. Let's take a look at Henry James' spell (or, perhaps in this case, malediction): "The litigation had seemed interminable and had in fact been complicated; but by the decision on the appeal the judgement of the divorce-court was confirmed as to the assignment of the child."

Oof.

Cluttered is the word that comes to mind with Henry James. While he does come up with beautiful sentences, they are often weighed down with unnecessary prose. Of course, my entire life is made up of unnecessary prose, so I can't judge too harshly.

Maisie's parents are the Kramer vs. Kramer of 1897; both are determined to handle their divorce as ungracefully as possible. Maisie is what Henry James' idea of a little girl is: innocence personified. Which is fine I guess, although little girls are capable of much more interesting things. Anyway, Maisie is pulled between her two parents and their unfortunate new partners, and her eccentric governess Mrs. Wix.

I don't mean to be too hard on ole Hank here; he chose a compelling topic for his time and really paints a picture of truly odious people. On the other hand, reading it now is a drag and a good story should never feel like a chore. Only one third of the way done with the Henry James novels. I'm sure he has a LOT more to say, hopefully 20% of it will be interesting.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Speaking of little girls, Vladimir Nabokov reportedly hated this novel.

UP NEXT: The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells. Already read, as part of my scary October reads, so expect this review up shortly!

208. Dracula

Dracula
Bram Stoker
1897
Around 400 pages

I am subverting expectations by posting this post-October, and it has nothing to do with my unwillingness to read and finish Quo Vadis in a timely manner.  Anyway, this is an old favorite of mine, and I wish epistolary novels were still popular, despite the whole "not making sense anymore" thing.

Do I need to give a plot description for this novel? If you don't know by now, you're staying ignorant on purpose, and it's obnoxious. But I'll indulge you just this once. Jonathan Harker is an English solicitor visiting Count Dracula in Transylvania about a real estate transaction.  Dracula really wants to move to England, because who doesn't, and Jonathan is stuck in a castle with a trio of vampiric hotties.

This novel has been dissected to AfterDeath, so I don't really have anything fresh to contribute. Some of the scholarly theories are really out there, my favorite being that Dracula is an indictment of Oscar Wilde. For me and most normies, it is just a thrilling story and a pleasure to read.

I love reading, but I'll admit, many classics are a slog to get through, especially if the author's name rhymes with Benry Hames. But this is pure fun and a great Thanksgiving read. So today, instead of talking to family members, ignore everybody and read Dracula. Claim you are looking for ideas.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Bram Stoker never enjoyed any financial success from the novel and died poor.  But Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote him a letter telling him how much he enjoyed it, which is better than dying happy and well-cared for.

UP NEXT: What Maisie Knew by Henry James. Henry James gets six novels on this List, which seems...excessive.

207. Quo Vadis

Quo Vadis
Henryk Sienkiewicz
1896
Around 600 pages

I recently had to get bone surgery again (what can I say? I crave the attention). This didn't give me quite as much reading time as I hoped, namely because reading contributes to my post-surgical nausea. So yes, Quo Vadis literally made me want to puke. I was able to finish the novel this morning though, and even without my vomitives (or as my doctor calls them, "painkillers") I hated this book.

Vinicius, a brutal Roman soldier, falls in love with Lygia, a beautiful slave who is secretly a Christian. Vinicius becomes obsessed with possessing her and...some historical stuff happens. God, this was a yawn. Um, Christianity is good, heathens are bad.

I actually expected to like this, despite knowing from the onset that it would be heavy-handed in its pro Christian message. I really liked Ben-Hur and expected this to be similar but...Lew Wallace is a much better storyteller than Sienkiewicz. Perhaps this was a fault of the translation, but I found the prose to be almost unbearably dull. Did people ever actually beat their breast in anguish, or is that something that writers invented? Given the setting of the story, women in this novel are reduced to useless objects worshipped for their purity and beauty, and men are just the crazed rapists chasing them around the vomitorium.

Definitely skippable, and I could do without Polish authors for awhile. It's okay for me to say that because I'm Polish, right?

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Raphael Lemkin, who coined the term "genocide," wrote that he first conceived of the idea when reading Quo Vadis as a young boy.

UP NEXT: Dracula by Bram Stoker. Too bad I couldn't get my act together to post this one for October. An old favorite, so should be posted shortly!

206. The Island of Dr. Moreau

The Island of Dr. Moreau
H.G. Wells
1896
Around 200 pages

Happy October!

I always aim to read spooky novels during this month, because dammit, I love themes. Last year was The Island of Dr. Moreau, Misery (which isn't on the List even though it was a lot better than The Shining), The House of Leaves, and The Wasp Factory. The Island of Dr. Moreau wasn't scary, but it did teach me what the word "vivisection" meant.

Edward Prendick survives a shipwreck in the Pacific. He is rescued by a man named Montgomery, who is accompanied by a beastly servant. Montgomery takes pity on Prendick and allows him to stay on the Dr. Moreau's island. Some weird shit starts going down.

H.G. Wells is pretty gimmicky in his writing, but I happen to like gimmicky, at least when it comes to science fiction. I also found Edward to be a much more sympathetic character than the Time Traveler in the previous Wells book, maybe because Edward actually had a name. Also I am a sucker for a man trying to prevent cruelty to animals (remember Jude Fawley ladies?).

I don't think there would be a Jurassic Park without this novel. Can you even imagine such a world??

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Wells later argued in an essay that what was depicted in the story could actually happen. Scientists have since proved, of course, that nothing in the story is possible, because science.

UP NEXT: Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiewicz. Has helped me out in alphabet games of the past, but I've never actually read it.

205. The Time Machine

The Time Machine
H.G. Wells
1895
Around 100 pages

I know I can't be the best judge for what qualifies as a "fun" read, as I observed firsthand the look of horror my sister gave me when I pulled out my vacation read for our Florida trip (Their Eyes Were Watching God, which was much more geographically relevant than her Sue Grafton novel). But I think most people could come to a consensus that this is a fun read.

A Victorian English scientist and gentleman is successful in building a time machine. So naturally, he hosts a dinner party. He decides to test his machine and winds up in 802,701 CE. He meets the Eloi, and at first thinks he has stumbled upon a blissful carefree society. It wouldn't be any fun if he was right.

It seems like only socialists are interested in writing science fiction during this time. But Wells, unlike William Morris for example, is actually a great storyteller. Yes, there is an agenda here, but there is also an exciting tale that was more reminiscent of Haggard's King Solomon's Mines than Butler's Erewhon.

Short and sweet. We could always use more of that around here.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Wells coined the phrase "time machine."

The word "Eloi" comes from the Hebrew plural for Elohim, meaning lesser gods.

Clip from the 2002 movie:

UP NEXT: The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells. Already read, so you won't have to wait long for another review. 

204. Effi Briest

Effi Briest
Theodor Fontane
1895
Around 250 pages

The fallen woman novel. It is a common trope that we have seen from a number of talented authors, including Zola, Hardy, Tolstoy, and Flaubert. I'll admit I have enjoyed the stories, but it is getting old. Also, it is irritating, obviously, that they are always written by men, but that's another topic for a different day (how's tomorrow work for you?).

Effi Briest is a young woman who can't get over how young she is. In a letter she writes to her mother, she writes something along the lines of "oh, how young I am! I should still be in a nursery!" Would a teenage girl ever possess or express this thought? I knew as soon as the book began Fontane was going to make her swoon at some point...I wasn't disappointed. But back to the plot. Effi is married off to some old guy and...well, you can probably guess the rest.

I know that this isn't meant to be an attack on women, and Fontane is criticizing the oppressive circumstances that allow Effi's fate to happen. But I still felt like Fontane was of the opinion that the most interesting thing a woman can do is cheat on her husband. I didn't relate to Effi in the slightest. The only thing I could tell you about her is that she likes to stretch in between doing housework. Oh, and she is young, ever so young.

The Book underestimated the hardness of my heart, and thought I would be in tears over this novel. Actually, I predicted everything that would happen to poor Effi, and kept wishing Fontane would just get on with it.

So if you've ever found yourself thinking "I wish Madame Bovary was German..." this is the novel for you! Oh and if you have ever found yourself thinking that, please explain yourself in the comments weirdo.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Thomas Mann said that if one had to reduce one's library to six novels (why six? Who would make someone do such an awful, arbitrary thing?), Effi Briest would have to be one of them. Shut up, Thomas.

UP NEXT: The Time Machine by H.G. Wells. I've read this one already, so expect a review up shortly!

203. Jude the Obscure

Jude the Obscure
Thomas Hardy
1895
Around 500 pages

Look, I love Thomas Hardy as much as the next dead English guy does. But it's a bit hard to justify having seven of his books on the List, when he isn't the most versatile author. This List has a tendency to favor male British authors, at the expense of the rest of the planet.

But...

I love Thomas Hardy and will probably read all his works at some point after my 44th birthday, which is when the 1001 Book app says I will finish with the List. I have a sneaking suspicion though that Jude the Obscure will always be my favorite.

Jude Fawley yearns to be a scholar and teaches himself Latin and Greek in his spare time. He even reads while steering his carriage, which is the nineteenth century equivalent of texting and driving. But his dreams come crashing to a halt when he is seduced by Arabella Donn. She uses the oldest trick in the book to get him to marry her. Jude is really in love with his cousin Sue (we have a good fifteen years to go before that gets creepy). But Sue is being courted by a schoolmaster twenty years her senior.

Much like The Kreutzer Sonata, this is less of a novel and more of a giant bitchfest about marriage. From everything I have read about Emma Hardy it sounds like she almost deserved it, although I guess there is no question about who had control of that narrative. I could spend hours gossiping about Thomas Hardy's love life, and probably will to my next unsuspecting date, but let's get back to talking about the novel.

There are certain literary scenes that stick with us for awhile, whether or not we love the novel. Sometimes this is because they were just super gross (the skinning scene in The Wind Up Bird Chronicle, for instance), or disturbing (the end of The Yellow Wallpaper). But some are just striking, in the description or the truth displayed there, beneath the fugacious plot.  Jude the Obscure contains two such scenes for me. One is super disturbing and is a spoiler, but the other is the moment when Jude can't bring himself to slaughter a pig, despite Arabella's cruel urgings. How many protagonists would be unable to do this? Jude is a special character and the subject of my literary crush.

I've blabbered enough, I suppose, but since this is the last Hardy on the List, I should give it a proper send off. Thank you Thomas Hardy, for the wonderful books. You are my second favorite long-winded Englishman. Sorry, but Dickens.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Critics were scandalized by the novel, with one dubbing the novel "Jude the Obscene." Nobody tell him about Fanny Hill.

Official Ranking of Thomas Hardy Novels, from best to worst:
1. Jude the Obscure
2. Far From a Madding Crowd
3. The Mayor of Casterbridge
4. Return of the Native
5. The Hand of Ethelberta
6. The Woodlanders
7. Tess of the D'urbervilles

UP NEXT: Effi Briest by Theodor Fontane. According to The Book, this one is going to have me crying my eyes out. It will be The Elegance of the Hedgehog breakdown all over again. Gird your loins.

202. The Real Charlotte

The Real Charlotte
Edith Somerville and Violet Martin
1894
Around 400 pages

This is an overlooked novel. So overlooked, in fact, that it doesn't even have its own Wikipedia page. Consequently, I failed to find many interesting facts about it. But I don't have to worry about that for another five or so paragraphs, so let's not concern ourselves with that right now.

Charlotte Mullen is smart and unattractive. Her cousin Francie Fitzpatrick is stupid and attractive. I'll leave you to guess which woman is more of a hit with the Victorian male set. Francie attracts a lot of attention, but only has eyes for the caddish Hawkins. Charlotte is in love with Roderick Lambert, for whatever reason (he doesn't even qualify as Victorian-hot). Roderick is at first quite content having Charlotte fawn over him, but gradually becomes attracted to Francie. Hell hath no fury...

Some might call Charlotte deranged. I would prefer to think of her as plucky. It's hard not to sympathize with this woman, who is easily smarter than every male character in this story, but has no real career path open to her besides bitter spinster. As always, I will honor my self-inflicted no spoiler rule, but I do have to say I loved the ending. I totally understand the impulse to end the novel this way, especially when you consider the way this kind of plot has typically been handled with male hands.

I couldn't believe that this was written by two people. I have no idea how they managed to meld their voices so beautifully into one. I can only be grateful.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Written under the pseudonym Martin Ross. The best female authors have male pen names.  That's why I'll be going by Steven from now on.

UP NEXT: Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy. Our last Thomas Hardy on the List. That makes me unreasonably sad.

201. The Yellow Wallpaper

The Yellow Wallpaper
Charlotte Perkins Gilman
1892
Around 50 pages

It's refreshing to have a short story thrown in here to balance out the Clarissas of the List. It's even more refreshing to have a female author.

The story is a collection of journal entries written by a woman as she not so slowly descends into madness. The physician husband of our unnamed narrator has diagnosed her with temporary nervous depression with a slight hysterical tendency (this was back in those scary days where men told women what to do with their bodies...shudder). He rents a mansion for the summer and makes her stay in the nursery, which naturally has bars on the windows because everything from the Victorian era is nightmare fodder.

This is a genuinely disquieting story. The woman's husband, John, is not a Lovelace-esque figure. Often the most insidious forms of oppression come from people who claim to be acting in our best interests, and that was certainly the case with women being treated for "hysterics."

Very creepy and very relevant.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

There is an episode of the Twilight Zone loosely based on this story.

UP NEXT: The Real Charlotte by Somerville and Ross. Another novel written by two people...how are people doing this?

200. Born in Exile

Born in Exile
George Gissing
1892
Around 450 pages

200. A mere 801 to go! Thank you to those of you who have stuck with me for 200 novels that vary oh so greatly in quality. For those of you who haven't read all 200 of my posts: get cracking, scumbags. I mean...welcome, gentle readers.

Godwin Peak, otherwise known as Whiny McWhinyson-Peak, is a man of superior intellect who is born to socially inferior circumstances. So of course as soon as I began this novel I was instantly convulsing on the floor, tormented by Knut Hamsun flashbacks.  Godwin is perhaps the original hipster, despising certain novels without reading them simply because they are popular. On the whole, though, I think hipsters are fonder of women than Godwin is. Anyway, Godwin's Cockney uncle decides to open an eating house near Godwin's college. Godwin is so humiliated by this that he quits school. Still, he pines to be a part of the upper class. He decides to do this by wooing Sidwell Warricombe, a deeply religious woman. In the grand tradition of idyllic courtship, this involves lying to the woman constantly.

An unrecognized genius tethered to the lower social class because of his birth, doomed to obscurity among the ignorant masses...male authors sure do love spinning that tale. I wouldn't mind so much if there was a dash of humor involved, but I had the feeling Godwin didn't know how to laugh. Gissing is a talented writer, so I was never bored, but I also didn't like a single character.

The previous book on the List, The Diary of a Nobody, also tackled class struggles, but it did this by pointing out absurdities in funny ways. I much preferred that to reading Godwin bitch and moan for 450 pages.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Gissing has me stumped on this one. Um, the 1001 book app says this novel was published in 1891, but all the other sources I found say 1892. That's interesting, right?

I'll see myself out.

UP NEXT: The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman. A real shorty, so I should have this up soon.

199. The Diary of a Nobody

The Diary of a Nobody
George and Weedon Grossmith
1892
Around 200 pages

I am not sure how one goes about writing a novel collaboratively, let alone with a sibling. It seems like you would have all sorts of problems with consistency and tone, and most writers I know (myself included) are rather...territorial about their work. But I have to hand it to George and Weedon; this felt very cohesive. Maybe they took turns writing entries.

Charles Pooter decides to keep a diary, despite the fact that his wife Carrie and son Lupin (unfortunately not the hot werewolf Lupin but a different Lupin) believe no one would ever be interested in reading it. Charles is mostly interested in chronicling his witty bon mots (i.e. dad jokes) that often go unappreciated and the various humiliations he endures trying to climb the social ladder. Of course, he would never admit to trying to climb the social ladder.

So this is a funny little novel. I recently read my first P.G. Wodehouse novel and it is easy to see the brothers influence on his Jeeves series. Like most Americans, I love reading about bumbling Englishmen, so I was delighted for most of the novel. It didn't overstay its welcome either; a concept like this could get wearing if it was more than 200 pages.

In conclusion, the Grossmiths make the Wright brothers look like literal garbage.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Evelyn Waugh called this the funniest book in the world.

UP NEXT: Born in Exile by George Gissing. The Big 200!

198. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes
Arthur Conan Doyle
1892
Around 450 pages

I have probably mentioned this before on this blog, but I have a bone condition called Multiple Hereditary Exostoses, which is my pithy introduction to this post. I spent a lot of time recovering from surgeries when I was younger. One particularly nasty surgery took me out of school for a semester, which was a painful and lonely period of my life. I took this opportunity to read all of the Sherlock Holmes stories. I know it's cheesy, but these characters really felt like friends to me. Needless to say, I took "The Final Problem" rather hard. But these stories are very close to my heart, and I know I am not alone in feeling that sentiment, as Doyle received death threats after he stopped writing about Sherlock. Ah, booklovers.

This is a collection of twelve short stories, all of which are narrated by Dr. John Watson. My favorites in this grouping are "A Scandal in Bohemia," which features the dazzling Irene Adler and "The Red-Headed League," which is a strange little story about a pawnbroker tasked with copying the Encyclopedia Britannica.

Doyle's Holmes is such a fascinating creation that it is unsurprising that people still can't get enough of him. Of course, once you read some of Poe's Dupin stories, you realize how derivative it is, but it doesn't matter. Doyle seems like he is having a lot more fun than Poe ever did, and that gleeful sense of adventure is palpable in his writings.

Just pure fun, which is particularly welcome in this era of gloomy Swedish novels (ahem Hamsun) and sexist Russian ramblings (ahem Tolstoy).

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Doyle has said "The Adventure of the Speckled Band" is his favorite Holmes story.

Sherlock Holmes has been portrayed by over 70 actors in over 200 movies.

UP NEXT: Diary of a Nobody by George Grossmith. Sounds intriguing!

197. News from Nowhere

News from Nowhere
William Morris
1891
Around 250 pages

So before we can skip off into the sunset and discuss Doyle, we have to get through this very long socialist pamphlet...I mean novel.

William Guest falls asleep after a meeting of the Socialist League. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a socialist utopia, which is still very English. He spends most of his time with Dick and Clara, who are happy to show him around. And...that's it. They show him around.

What motivates me to pick up a book is the pure joy I experience when I am told a good story. This isn't much of a story; its thinly veiled agenda grated on my nerves. I am not saying that calls for change have no place in literature, but it's not very effective when it feels more like a lecture than an allegory. It was particularly obnoxious when the old man explained that in this idyllic society women still wait on men because all clever women love nothing more than to manage households. Thank you, Morris, for keeping my greatest pleasure intact: that of handing a penis-bearer a plate at dinner.

He doesn't really offer any strong counterarguments against the traditional complaints wrought against socialism. But what motivates someone to work hard then, William Guest asks the old man. Oh, because everybody loves their work! Um...okay you naive little duckling. Then the old man even says that men no longer tyrannize women in this society, because they just stopped being at jealous at one point. But then later the recent murder of a man by a jealous romantic rival is discussed, and everybody agrees that he was sorry so there is no reason to have a court system. What?

Morris manages to give this relatively harmless "story" a rather sinister edge with the chapter on how the change came to be. Morris intimates that a lot of blood had to be shed to bring about this metamorphosis, which was a necessary path to paradise. But in Morris' "paradise" people don't seem to like to read. So how utopic can it be?

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

"Nowhere" is a literal interpretation of the word "utopia." The word comes from the Greek "ou" (not) and "topos" (place).

UP NEXT: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. All the yays.

196. New Grub Street

New Grub Street
George Gissing
1891
Around 500 pages

Authors love writing about writing. I actually just finished writing my first novel, so I relate a lot to the angst and bitterness expressed in these pages. Still, it's difficult for me to ascertain if this would be a total yawn to non writers (otherwise known as normies) or not.

Three writers of very different temperaments are described in this novel. We follow their failures and successes (but mostly failures) and in doing so, get a fairly strong grasp on what Gissing thinks of the modern literary scene. Edward Reardon is a talented writer, but his books have little commercial value. Unable to provide for his family through his writing, he consents to take a clerkship which humiliates his wife. Harold Biffin refuses to write anything other than Literature, and thus lives a penniless existence. And finally, Jasper Milvain is a cynical writer who attaches little importance to artistic integrity. Or any kind of integrity really.

Gissing nails almost every emotion that authors can experience: frustration at writer's block, bitterness at the perceived inferiority of popular fiction, and the mental tug of war that writers experience where sometimes we think we are geniuses and other times mindless hacks. Like I said, I'm not entirely sure this would be of interest to somebody who just wants to read a good story, but as a writer I found it very relatable.

Gissing is also really funny, but I am abstaining from giving this five stars only because it did drag on longer than was necessary.  I'm eager to read the next Gissing novel on the List. Only four more books before the big 200!

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Title refers to London's Grub Street, which was known for its concentration of hack writers and struggling poets.

UP NEXT: News from Nowhere by William Morris.

195. Gosta Berling's Saga

Gosta Berling's Saga
Selma Lagerlof
1891
Around 450 pages

It is very exciting for me to see a female writer on the List, especially in this century, as they are few and far between. Still, I have always struggled with the Swedish writers on this List and unfortunately, Selma is no exception.

It's hard to summarize the plot of this novel, as it is more a collection of strange events than a cohesive narrative. At the center of most (but by no means all) of these adventures is Gosta Berling, a defrocked minister (fun drinking game idea: take a shot everytime someone refers to Gosta as "defrocked") who is ousted from the church for drinking so much. He lies in the snowdrift waiting to die (a common strategy for the characters in this story), but is saved by the Mistress of Ekeby. She lets him become one of her pensioners in her manor. Some weird shit goes down.

What an odd story. One moment our characters are dealing with smallpox and abusive fathers; the next moment a wood nymph is walking around town with her tail between her legs. Lagerof has a unique voice; it is remarkably old-fashioned, flowery, and at times very amusing. There is a great passage at the beginning of the story where she describes an argument between the hills and the plains over how the landscape should look.

And truthfully, the beginnings of the chapters were my favorite parts. Her style really shone in introductions, but I wasn't entirely interested in any of the weird plots she was recounting. There was just too much of a disconnect for me to empathize with any of the characters, as I had a hard time understanding the "rules" of the world she was creating. Maybe the point was that they weren't any rules, but the confusion of what was going on definitely hindered my enjoyment.

Still, the novel isn't short and Selma's style can begin to wear after a bit (there is only so many times that you can read a plea to Eros before it gets a tad old). Unfortunately, it is still the best Swedish novel I have read, and thus gets three stars.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

In 1924, the novel was adapted as a silent film, starring the then unknown Greta Garbo.

Selma Lagerlof is the first female writer to win a Nobel Prize in Literature.

UP NEXT: New Grub Street by George Gissing. Five more until the big 200!

194. Tess of the d'Urbervilles

Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Thomas Hardy
1891
Around 450 pages

This was the very first Thomas Hardy I read, which made me quite sure I didn't like him. My blind loyalty to the List made me read more of his work and I discovered I actually adore that man. Still, I would disagree that this is his masterpiece.

The story follows Tess, who is born to poor, uneducated parents. She becomes attracted to Angel (a favorite hot guy name) at the May Dance, but on the way she falls asleep at the reins on her way home, which results in the death of the horse. Tess is persuaded by her family to go "claim kin" with Mrs. d'Urberville, a wealthy widow who shares their name, to cope with the financial loss of the horse. Through this unsuccessful endeavor, she meets Alec, Mrs. d'Urberville's son, who is a "libertine" which is 19th century talk for sociopathic rapist.

I am not entirely sure I can pinpoint why I did not respond to his prose in this novel in my usual way. Hardy is clever enough to critique Victorian views on sexuality, but he wasn't quite progressive enough to know what to do about them, which I think comes out in this work. He has a strange relationship with modernism, as he is still eager to include themes that Industrialization is poisonous, as demonstrated by Alec's behavior. I also felt like the pacing was a bit off. I am not usually bored by Hardy, but some passages felt tedious.

But he is still Thomas Hardy, which means there are plenty of good nuggets in here, as he is a master of description. Still, the best Hardy is yet to come on The List: Jude the Obscure!

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

When he was 16, Thomas Hardy witnessed the hanging of Elizabeth Martha Brown, a woman who murdered her violent husband. The experience compelled him to write Tess of the D'Urbervilles.

Lake scenes from two different adaptations:

UP NEXT: Gosta Berling's Saga by Selma Lagerlof. A female writer? I'm flummoxed!

193. The Picture of Dorian Gray

The Picture of Dorian Gray
Oscar Wilde
1891
Around 250 pages

I have always thought that Oscar Wilde was hilarious and I often curse the gods that he was not alive during the Twitter era. But I wasn't entirely sure his quipping could support an entire novel, so I didn't pick this up until last October for a Halloween-themed read. Of course, it was brilliant, much better than my other "scary" reads (Wasp Factory and House of Leaves).

Dorian Gray is an empirical hottie so Basil Hallward insists on painting his oil portrait. Through Basil, Dorian meets Lord Henry, who is basically an Oscar Wilde stand in. My goodness, our authors are autobiographical lately. Keep your ego in your pants, gents. Anyway, the portrait is gorgeous, but it makes Dorian sad. Why should the portrait get to be beautiful forever while Dorian is going to age and die? Dorian wishes it was the other way around and some divine power grants his wish. I guess the gods only listen to tens.

Wilde is a phenomenal writer. He has a thousand witty truths to share about society and he weaves them smoothly into his Faustian tale, with the help of Lord Henry. The metaphors he uses are brilliant as well. Wilde, of course, had experience hiding his true self from the public so he writes Dorian in a way that is both chilling and relatable. I won't go into specifics so as not to give away any spoilers, but I feel like the murder scene is one of the most memorable passages in literature. That moment where you share your rawest self with someone ought to be a relief, but more often than not, the knowledge that somebody has seen you so vulnerable is unbearable. I imagine many of us would share Dorian's impulses...hopefully, we would resist.

I wish Wilde had been born in the current era, where he could be accepted and exalted as the shade king he was. But then we wouldn't have The Picture of Dorian Gray, and that would be a heavy loss indeed.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

According to Oscar Wilde, "Basil Hallward is what I think I am, Lord Henry is what the world thinks of me, Dorian is what I would like to be, in other ages perhaps."

In honor of his sassmouth, I will now present my top five favorite Oscar Wilde quotes:

1. "A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally."
2. "It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either tedious or charming."
3. "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit."
4. "She is a peacock in everything but beauty."
5. "A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction."


UP NEXT: Tess of D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy. I devoured all the Hardy novels a while ago, but I'll probably hold off on posting the new review for awhile, for pacing purposes.

192. The Kreutzer Sonata

The Kreutzer Sonata
Leo Tolstoy
1889
Around 100 pages

Previously on The 1001 Book Blog (if you know who Jeff Probst is, please read this in his voice), we said goodbye to Emile Zola and let me assure you, that man went out with a bang. Now we are bidding farewell to Leo Tolstoy, but unfortunately, he is not going out quite as strongly as the Big EZ (a nickname I am trying to get started for Emile Zola. Tell your friends).

Pozdnyshev is that guy on the train who seems slightly off and you really hope won't talk to you. You try to avoid his eye but he still directs his rantings in your direction. Our unnamed narrator recounts Pozdnyshev's ramblings as they ride the trains together, which center on his failed marriage and his views on sexual expression (spoiler: it's bad).

Tolstoy became increasingly puritanical as he got older, due to his late in life conversion. Fun Tolstoy is dead and in his place is a crazed preacher. Continuing with our theme of women-hating leading men, Pozdnyshev argues that women still have unholy power over men, despite being men's slaves (huh?), that society is geared towards female pleasure (say what now?), and that everybody should be abstinent even in marriage (did your thirteen children agree?).

I remember reading that the night before his marriage, Leo showed his diaries to his wife, which discussed his sexual past in great detail, including the illegitimate child he had by one of his serfs. Pozdnyshev did the same thing, which one of the many reasons it is obvious that Pozdnyshev is Tolstoy and that Tolstoy is pouring his own self-loathing and hatred of his wife into every page. I  imagine this novella would or did cause everybody he cared about a great deal of pain.

And what other purpose does it serve? I didn't even feel my usual sensation of feisty resentment reading his misogynistic views. It just made me sad. At this point in his life, Tolstoy hates himself and hates humanity. I only felt pity for him and slight annoyance at the Listmakers for allowing him to go out like this. His presence on the List should have died with Ivan Ilyich.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Teddy Roosevelt called Leo Tolstoy a "sexual moral pervert." Lolz.

Initially banned in the US.  Wow, this wasn't even as graphic as Zola's works.

My official ranking of Leo Tolstoy's work on the List, from best to worst:

1. War and Peace
2. The Death of Ivan Ilyich
3. Anna Karenina
4. The Kreutzer Sonata

UP NEXT: The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. Get ready for a rave.

191. La Bete Humaine

La Bete Humaine
The Monomaniac
Emile Zola
1890
Around 500 pages

The last two entries on the List were both appallingly racist and shamelessly misogynistic, so I was eager for some Zola to alleviate the hangover. Not that Zola necessarily makes me feel more hopeful about humanity, but at least he is slightly less hateful about it.

It is not really necessary to have read the preceding novels in this series to understand the story, but if you have, it might interest you to know that the Human Beast of the title is Lantier, brother of Etienne (from Germinal) and half-brother of Nana (from The Drunkard and Nana). Lantier is frequently visited by the impulse to brutally murder women, but so far he has successfully resisted. Instead, he focuses his energies on running a train engine, which he is creepily enamoured with. Meanwhile, Rouband is a station master who suspects his wife Severine had an affair with one of the station directors. Rouband also happens to be a homicidal maniac, so he resolves to do something about it. Lantier becomes involved with Severine, which leads to even more murderous mayhem.

I have seen this title translated a few different ways: The Human Beast, The Beast Within, The Monomaniac, and Judas is a Woman. That last one really gets me; it's not enough that they will hold Eve over our heads for all eternity. Now the crucifixion is our fault as well. In any case, no one can inhabit the mind of a killer better than Zola can; it is actually a bit frightening. I think Zola might have been Jack the Ripper.

Putting aside my baseless accusations, this was obviously a well written book and as always, he is  keenly aware of the nuances of human behavior. His characterization of the train engine was brilliant and his imagery was unforgettable. I am going to miss that boy.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Seventeenth book in Zola's Les Rougon-Macquart series.

My official ranking of Zola's work, from best to worst:

1. Therese Raquin
2. La Bete Humaine
3. Germinal
4. Nana
5. The Drunkard

UP NEXT: The Kreutzer Sonata by Leo Tolstoy. The last Tolstoy on the List. We really are saying goodbye to a lot of big names as we finish up the 19th century. I'm excited to see what's next!

190. By the Open Sea

By the Open Sea
August Strindberg
1890
Around 200 pages

"To caution the boy against the supreme power of the sexual instinct was equivalent to casting a slur on womankind." Thank goodness Strindberg sticks up for us woman like this and prevents our good name from being tarnished. Keep fighting the good fight, August. Let's take a minute to appreciate a few more quotes from this novel that prove Strindberg is God's gift to womankind.

• "To the third class belonged all children, most criminals, most women, and some lunatics, all of whom he considered intermediary forms between man and mammal, unendowed with the capacity of differentiating between subject and object."
• "Dead was the hope of his youth to find the woman whom he was seeking: the woman who had sufficient brain to acknowledge that her sex was inferior to his."
• "But you know, Axel, a woman is a child until she becomes a mother."

Now, you could of course argue that Strindberg doesn't necessarily hold these views; these are the views of the main character, Axel Borg, a man so completely insufferable that he could only be Strindberg himself. Strindberg describes a man who is a literary genius, unappreciated by the stupid, mediocre villagers around him. It's obvious to me that Axel Borg is Strindberg, but as I am a woman, and thus am incurably childish and moronic, Strindberg would advise you not to take my word for it.

I'm all for books with insufferable main characters. I even liked The Catcher in the Rye, although at least with that novel, you walked away with the notion that Holden would grow out of his ideas; Axel is in his thirties so I am not holding out much hope. 

Strindberg is a mean writer. He is mean to his characters and mean to his readers. Although to be fair to Strindberg, he probably didn't expect a woman to read his book (our brains can't handle the words, you see). Last Strindberg on the List. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Ingmar Bergman and Tennessee Williams have both cited Strindberg as an influence. I do not find this particularly shocking.

UP NEXT: La Bete Humaine by Emile Zola.  Last Zola on the List!

189. Hunger

Hunger
Sult
Knut Hamsun
1890
Around 200 pages

According to The Book, this novel is an antidote for anyone who plans on being a starving writer. First off, I am not sure people actually plan to be starving, unless they are a character in a Paul Auster novel, but I do plan on being a writer. I'm afraid this book failed to cure me of this aspiration. All it did was leave me with the distinct impression that I hate Hamsun. Considering he was a Nazi sympathizer, this isn't exactly a hot take.

The main character doesn't have a name (gee, I never tire of that motif) so let's just call him a random name. How about Raskolnikov? Okay Raskolnikov is a starving writer who harasses women and old men in the street and dodges his landlady. His own ego prevents him from seeing himself as a true beggar, so he alternates between whining for food and getting offended that people would even offer him food. It's a fun read!

One of my favorite fellow 1001 bloggers informed me that this is a movie. I can't imagine how you could adapt this to film; these kind of characters cannot survive in that medium. You have to be inside their heads to have a shot at feeling any kind of sympathy for them. I was able to feel for this character a little bit, as I related to his struggles with writer's block. One moment, he is convinced he is going to create a masterpiece, the next moment he can't even string two words together. I have certainly been there, my friend.

Still, Hamsun is gross (apparently even Hitler couldn't stand him) and this book is pretty unremarkable. But hey, at least it was short.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Takes place in Kristiania (now Oslo).

Published anonymously in a Danish magazine in 1888.

UP NEXT: By the Open Sea by August Strindberg. Last Strindberg novel on the List...thank goodness.

188. The Master of Ballantrae

The Master of Ballantrae
Robert Louis Stevenson
1889
Around 250 pages

A week ago we said goodbye to Maupassant, now we are bidding farewell to Stevenson. And just like Maupassant before him, Stevenson ends his time on The List with a story about a rivalry between two brothers.

The novel begins in 1745, the year of the Jacobite rising. The Durie family is worried about losing their status if they are found to be on the wrong side of the rising, so they hatch a plan: one of their sons will join the uprising while the other son will join the loyalists. Both sons wish to join the uprising but after a coin toss the matter is settled: The eldest son, James, will join the rebels while the younger son Henry will be a loyalist. This sets up a rivalry that spans decades, all recounted from the point of view of the family's steward.

I took this novel with me on a semi recent trip to Scotland. I am quite glad I did, because I was able to visit the Writer's Museum in Edinburgh (which was basically a shrine to Stevenson with some Walter Scott paraphernalia thrown in). Of course, I had read Stevenson before but I would argue this is the most historical of his novels, and it was fun reading it with the correct scenery behind me.

Stevenson expects you to know about the Jacobite uprising, which I didn't, so I was a bit lost at the beginning of this. I am also not a huge fan of the adoring servant being the narrator. There's a reason Margaret Mitchell didn't have Mammy narrate Gone With the Wind. Of course, that reason probably has a lot to do with racism. Ahem. Not the best example. My point is, it comes across as an outdated, frankly obnoxious perspective, where people of a certain class aren't worthy of having their own stories told.

Frankly, I enjoyed his other novels better, although this one is certainly more ambitious than the others. I felt that certain parts dragged on too long and the whole "prodigal son returns" trope works better when it isn't done three times in a row. By the time James reappeared the last time, I was ready to close the book on both of them.

FINAL RANKING OF STEVENSON:
1. Kidnapped
2. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
3. Treasure Island
4. Master of Ballantrae

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Adapted into a 1953 film with Errol Flynn. I don't remember any character being hot enough in this to justify that casting.

Original manuscript has been lost.

UP NEXT: Hunger by Knut Hamsun. I'm eager to read any novel by someone named Knut.

187. Pierre et Jean

Pierre et Jean
Pierre and Jean
Guy de Maupassant
1888
Around 150 pages

We have reached the final Maupassant novel on the List! Usually his novels detail how a man systematically ruins a woman's life by exploiting her emotions. This one is a tad different, although don't worry, a woman is still psychologically tormented by her son. Anyway, this was my favorite so far.

Pierre and Jean have a somewhat healthy sibling rivalry. Pierre, the eldest, is studying to be a doctor. His brother Jean is studying to be a lawyer and both of them are battling to win the affections of a pretty widow. One day, the brothers learn that a friend of a family died, leaving all his money to Jean. While Jean takes advantage of his newfound wealth, Pierre, spurred on by jealousy, investigates why Jean was the only happy recipient.  His discoveries could lead to a scandal, or worse, the dissolution of all family bonds.

I really don't think this author likes women. That, of course, doesn't make him a bad novelist, but I do wish he could create a female character that doesn't suffer from "hysterics." That being said, the main women-hater in this novel could hardly be considered a good guy, so it could be worse.

I thought this was a very intriguing concept for a story. Pierre's motivations in particular are fascinating. Is he behaving strictly out of jealousy? Or because of his creepy Oedipus complex? Or is he just frightened by how his family will be perceived by the public? I like that Maupassant doesn't try to simplify this for us. All too often, novelists attempt to assign their characters' a flaw and strength apiece, when in reality, our motivations are much more complex than that.

FINAL RANKING OF MAUPASSANT:
1. Pierre et Jean
2. Bel-Ami
3. Une Vie

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Maupassant's shortest novel.

UP NEXT: The Master of Ballantrae by Robert Louis Stevenson. I have already read this one but I will probably hold off on publishing for awhile so the postings are less sporadic.

186. Fortunata y Jacinta

Fortunata y Jacinta
Fortunata and Jacinta
Benito Perez Galdos
1887
Around 800 pages

I must once again begin a post by apologizing for taking so long between updates. This was a somewhat obscure novel, at least in the United States, and I had difficulty finding it. Then when I finally did, it was a whopping 800 pages. In the interim, I developed an unhealthy Iris Murdoch obsession which we can dive into later. For now, let's talk about Galdos!

As every man knows, there are two types of women in the world: Madonnas and whores (you could ask a female if there are any other variations, but what would they know?). Our Madonna is Jacinta, who is married to her cousin Juanito. Jacinta is sickeningly good, patronizing orphanages and constantly forgiving her husband for being the worst. Jacinta is also obsessed with having children, but is unable to reproduce. Our whore is, of course, Fortunata who is uncultured and unbridled. She sucks raw eggs out of their shells and stands akimbo (which is apparently the definitive sign of the working class). Juanito has many affairs with Fortunata both before and after his marriage to Jacinta. The women, naturally, blame their problems on each other, rather than recognizing that Juanito is the author of all their troubles.

As this was an 800 page novel, I naturally left out huge chunks. I am not entirely convinced the author had to include certain parts either. Frankly, I could have done without some of the minor characters like the mega creepy Don Evaristo Feijoo, who falls in love with Fortunata, has repeated sexual encounters with her, and then proceeds to proclaim he now knows what it's like to be a father.  I think he was meant to be one of the kinder characters in the novel. Let's just say it didn't translate.

From everything I have said so far, I sound like I hated this. I didn't. I was actually very immersed in this world and found Galdos' writing to be engaging and at times very funny. Juanito is one of the most deplorable literary characters I have ever experienced, but Galdos still found a way to make him charming enough that you understand the women's fascination with him. Galdos also included many details about what it was like to live in Madrid during this time, which were beautifully woven into the story.  That's the way I like my history: as a mere backdrop to whatever hot gossip was going on at the time.

Anyway, if you can find this novel (it wasn't available at any of my library's branches) it is definitely worth a read. Fair warning, though. I already checked and there aren't any personality quizzes online you can take to see if you are a Fortunata or Jacinta. Disappointing, I know. I will just have to pay better attention to how I consume eggs.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Considered one of the best examples of Spanish realism.

UP NEXT: Pierre and Jean by Guy de Maupassant. Last Maupassant book on the List. Where shall we get our fix of men abusing women? Everywhere, you say?