951. Spring Flowers, Spring Frost

Spring Flowers, Spring Frost
Ismail Kadare
2000
Around 195 pages

I am convinced I read this novel twice. The story of the bride and the snake felt very familiar, but maybe that's just a well-known fairy tale. Oh well, there is always something more to get out of a reread. 

The story is somewhat all over the place, but part of the plot involves a woman forced to marry a snake as punishment to her father. But don't worry, he becomes a hot guy at night. I actually listened to the audio version of this book, as I had difficulty tracking down a physical copy. And I just have to say, the voice the narrator put on for the snake was very sexy. No wonder the bride got so attached.

I enjoyed the blend of magical realism and folklore, it reminded me of the mythological tales I read at the beginning of the List, so many moons ago. You have to wonder how much was lost in translation from the original Albanian, but this still offered a rich tour of Alabanian history and culture. 

I liked this more than the previous Kadare work, so the fella is growing on me.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

The English translation was based on the French translation, not the original Albanian.

UP NEXT: The Devil and Miss Prym by Paulo Coehlo

950. The Heart of Redness

The Heart of Redness
Zakes Mda
2000

Around 290 pages

It's awesome to get another South African novel on this List, even if it means shelling out some money to get a copy.

Camugu has returned to South Africa after fleeing to America during Apartheid. He pursues a woman he heard sing at a funeral. He discovers that people have split into two factions of the same family tree. The split began when a young prophetess ordered the people to destroy their cattle and crops, promising if they did the ancestors would drive the white people away. The people are split in two groups: Believers and Non-Believers. Camagu becomes involved with a lady from each group.

You can see this is a homage to Joseph Conrad, based on the title and themes. I think I have had enough circumcision novels for a lifetime, but this was still an entertaining read that highlights the relevance of cultural history. 

Interested to see what else Mda has to offer. 

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Mda's novels have been translated into 21 languages.

UP NEXT: Spring Flowers, Spring Frost by Ismail Kadare

949. Under the Skin

Under the Skin
Michel Faber
2000
Around 305 pages

I went to this novel completely blind about the plot, and not even knowing what genre this was. And what a ride it turned out to be. In fact, I don't even want to summarize it, because it was really cool watching the story unfold with no background knowledge about the direction it was headed.

Michel Faber is a master at building up to the big reveals, and teasing the reader with just enough details that you think you know what is going on, only for the rug to be pulled out from under you in the next scene. How did people ever think hitchhiking was a good idea?

I have very specific mental images of these characters, and I really don't want to see some of the events of this novel on screen, so I'm not really up for watching the movie version. One of the weirdest, most entertaining novels I've ever read.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to film in 2013.

UP NEXT: The Heart of Redness by Zakes Mda

948. White Teeth

White Teeth
Zadie Smith
2000
Around 480 pages

I had previously enjoyed On Beauty, but didn't really click with this one. It's like going on a great first date, and then having everything fall apart on the second date. But maybe I've just had my share of complicated multi family dramas.

This is a sweeping saga about three families from three different cultures in three generations. It felt like something in the style of Martin Amis or Hanif Kureishi, with its heavy use of cultural references, self-aware plotting, and unlikable characters.

It wasn't a horrible failure by any means, but 480 pages is a long time to not gel with a story. The emphasis on comedy just didn't land for me and the ending was unsatisfactory. Next!

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to a television series in 2002.

UP NEXT: Under the Skin by Michel Faber

947. City of God

City of God
E.L. Doctorow
2000
Around 275 pages

I thought we left Doctorow behind in the 1980s, but here he is showing up again, making it awkward. Well, I never really enjoyed his name dropping prose, and this novel was no different.

There's actually not much of a plot here as it is stream of consciousness, but the main thread involves the theft of a cross from a church in Manhattan. I did enjoy Doctorow's thoughts on religion, but found the style and structure really grating.

Doctorow's fans will probably appreciate the patchwork of historical events and perspectives, but it's too scattered for my tastes. 

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

At the time of his death, Barack Obama called him "one of America's greatest novelists."

UP NEXT: White Teeth by Zadie Smith

946. How the Dead Live

How the Dead Live
Will Self
2000
Around 420 pages

I expected to hate this after Self's previous entry Great Apes, but I was surprisingly into this, at least at the beginning. Will Self wasn't quite convincing as a female narrator. I don't know how many old ladies would refer to their vaginas as "ancient vacuums" although maybe I'm hanging out with the wrong old ladies. 

Lily Bloom is dying of cancer and I don't think it's much of a spoiler to say she does die, but experiences an afterlife. She's accompanied by her spiritual Aboriginal spirit guide and her children who have passed.

Being stuck in the head of somebody so bitter and miserable was not a fun experience, although Self infused it with his own unique brand of humor, which is grotesque, pessimistic, and at times disgusting. The characters' relationships with each other just depress me. On the other hand, I did appreciate some of the philosophical observations Lily made on her way out.

Not a necessary read by any means, but it did keep my attention.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Self grew up reading Herbert, Dick, and Ballard.

UP NEXT: City of God by E.L. Doctorow

945. The Human Stain

The Human Stain
Philip Roth
2000
Around 350 pages

Margaret Atwood has left us, but Philip Roth remains. Where is the justice in the world? Actually, this is probably my favorite Roth so far, but I'm still not very excited about him. He would definitely be one of those YouTubers ranting about how society has gone woke, so it's probably for the best that he's not alive right now.

The novel is narrated by frequent Roth stand-in Nathan Zuckerman, who is asked by Coleman Silk to write his story. Silk was a professor, and one day used the term "spooks" to describe two students who are frequently absent. The two African American students take offense to this, and it basically ruins his life and career.

This is a very nuanced situation, but of course society doesn't really care about nuance in conversations like this. Silk is a pretty fascinating specimen, and I don't usually find much appeal in Roth's cast of characters, so that's something. The themes he explores are still culturally relevant today, and I just found the overall pacing of this one easier to take.

This is a good start if you are looking to explore Roth's works, although I would probably recommend The Breast over this, because it's so goddamn weird.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

GQ listed this as one of the best books of the 21st century.

Adapted to film in 2003.

UP NEXT: How the Dead Live by Will Self

944. The Blind Assassin

The Blind Assassin
Margaret Atwood
2000
Around 540 pages

This is like being on the last season of a beloved television series. We are going to be saying goodbye to a lot of beloved characters as the writers fumble to tie up storylines. Margaret Atwood definitely earns a spot in my top five, so this is tougher than the other farewells recently. Here's my ranking:

1. A Handmaid's Tale
2. Alias Grace
3. The Robber Bride
4. The Blind Assassin
5. Cat's Eye
6. Surfacing

I know I've raved enough about her range, but it's just extremely impressive that each of these entires are so different but so brilliant. This might be her most complex novel yet, and it's only due to the genius of the top half of my ranking that keeps this one out of first place.

Atwood takes the Danielewski approach and presents a story within a story within a story. Our main character is Iris, and she is reflecting on her life in Canada, which has included an unhappy marriage and a motherless childhood. The embedded story is called The Blind Assassin, and follows a pulp fiction writer, who tells a sci-fi story. It's less confusing than it sounds.

Iris is a somewhat familiar archetype in Atwood's writing, but she keeps it fresh with this unusual format. And personally, I can't get enough of Science Fiction Atwood. One of my goals in the List afterlife is to read everything Atwood has ever written, so it's not a goodbye, just a see you later.

But talk about going out on a high note.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Won the Booker Prize.

UP NEXT: The Human Stain by Philip Roth

943. After the Quake

After the Quake
Haruki Murakami
2000
Around 200 pages

I love Murakami, and short stories are a great format for his strange and succinct tales. It was slightly less memorable than his other works, but still a quality collection.

The thread of the short story collection concerns the 1995 Kobe earthquake, with each story dealing with some effect of the disaster. I have to give the prize of my favorite story to "Super-Frog Saves Tokyo" because any story with a giant frog deserves all the praise in the world.

It's fascinating that Murakami chose to feature characters who were simultaneously removed and deeply affected by the earthquake. As always, he has impeccable style and pacing, and every Murakami work so far has been a delight. Keep em coming!

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to radio in 2007.

UP NEXT: The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood

942. Small Remedies

Small Remedies

Shashi Deshpande
2000
Around 325 pages

I feel as though the List is trying to trip me up with its dying gasps. This one wasn't easy to track down, and I'm lucky I came across a version online, otherwise I was going to have to shell out some cash for this one. It's like the List is extorting money from me to finally finish. And of course, I'll pay, but I'm glad I didn't have to.

After losing her son to a bombing, Madhu writes about Savitribai, who left her husband to live with her Muslim lover. The word that comes to mind here is understated, it's just kind of a low key drama about women breaking out of the roles that have been assigned to them.

It's a pretty slow novel and maybe not worth digging up, but well written enough. Just didn't make much of an impression.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Deshpande has written four children's books.

UP NEXT: After the Quake by Haruki Murakami

941. Ignorance

Ignorance
Milan Kundera
2000

Around 195 pages

This is the last Kundera novel on the List, which means it's time for a ranking! The novels are fairly equal in quality, so this is just a subjective order of my favorites. Fair warning, it's not sorted by my usual rigid algorithm.

1. The Joke

2. The Book of Laughter and Forgetting

3. The Unbearable Lightness of Being
4. Ignorance

I didn't anticipate this novel coming in last, but compared to the others, I guess this is the most disposable. Czech expatriate Irena has lived in France since fleeing the country after the invasion by the Soviets. She decides to return during the Velvet Revolution, and meets fellow ex pat Josef.

I enjoyed Kundera's meditations on nostalgia and the connections he drew to the Odyssey. And I love a good deep dive into etymology as much as the next nerd. And the central concept of ignorance, and the question of just how blissful or involuntary it is, was fascinating to explore. I wasn't as into the story he was telling as much as I have been for his previous works, but this is still a quick and thoughtful read.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Kundera had an asteroid named after him.

UP NEXT: Small Remedies by Shashi Deshpande

940. Nineteen Seventy Seven

Nineteen Seventy Seven
David Peace
2000
Around 350 pages

The List sure is packing in a lot of violence against in women for the homestretch. Maybe the Powers That Be are trying to make our separation easier, like when the superhero pushes his girlfriend away so she won't be in danger. Well, it's quite an effective technique.

This is the second novel of a series called Red Riding. Bob Fraser and Jack Whitehead investigate the murders of the Yorkshire Ripper, who is primarily targeting prostitutes. We get the expected graphic descriptions of the mutilations and torture inflicted on these women. And once again in these noir novels, the female perspective is virtually non existent.

This book reminded me heavily of The Killer in Me, although I vastly preferred that novel to this one. Just an unpleasant experience, with unlikable characters. I'd rather just let the real life Yorkshire Sicko fade into obscurity, thanks.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to television in 2009.

UP NEXT: Ignorance by Milan Kundera

939. Celestial Harmonies

Celestial Harmonies
Peter Esterhazy
2003
Around 850 pages

I had absolutely no problem flying through Blonde which had a similar page count, but slogged through this one. So it's not about length, it's about the motion of the ocean. Or, you know, pacing. Oh well, at least we got to hang out in Hungary for a little bit.

In Book One, we get 371 paragraphs, and then Book Two, we get a more traditional family story. It's a sprawling work, and much like Wild Swans, we get a comprehensive history lesson about a country in flux. It feels more like fragments than a complete work, but the scope is so huge that it's kind of inevitable it wouldn't feel like too tidy.

So yes, it was one of those impressive novels that is absolutely exhausting to read. It wasn't my style, but I was still awed by the breadth of it, even if the humor didn't land for me. Great title by the way.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Esterhazy's works have been translated into more than 20 languages.

UP NEXT: Nineteen Seventy Seven by David Peace

938. Super-Cannes

Super-Cannes
J.G. Ballard
2000
Around 400 pages

I was actually really into this novel at the beginning, but then it took a turn for the Ballard, which meant extremely disturbing sexual content, this time involving children. Man, why we couldn't stick to a good old fashioned ghost story, where it's just an angry spirit that makes a man go on a killing spree?

Paul injured himself in a flying accident, so there's nothing stopping him from moving with his wife Jane to Eden Olympia, a luxury gated community in the hills above Cannes. Jane is a doctor, and is replacing the previous doctor, David Greenwood, who killed several friends and coworkers before turning the gun on himself. Paul become obsesses with discovering what made David do what he did. 

Sounds like a great premise for a horror story or at the very least, a compelling mystery. But Ballard takes it in a very upsetting direction. I'm not saying his take on what the rich will do if left to their own devices was inaccurate, I was just hoping for less deranged story. And I don't think Ballard writes women well. They never feel like real human beings, only sexual fantasies.

Here's my official Ballard ranking, what a strange man:

1. High Rise

2. The Atrocity Exhibition

3. Super-Cannes

4. The Empire of the Sun

5. The Drowned World

6. Crash

7. Cocaine Nights

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

A limited series adaptation was reported to be in development in 2021.

UP NEXT: Celestial Harmonies by Peter Esterhazy

937. House of Leaves

House of Leaves
Mark Z. Danielewski
2000
Around 710 pages

It's been awhile since we have had a metafiction entry on the List, and it's been even longer since we had a good horror novel. This doesn't fully qualify as a horror novel, but if you try to fit this novel in any one box, the box will magically grow larger and kill you.

The book is framed as a lost manuscript discovered by Johnny Truant, a tattoo artist who decides to submit it for posthumous publication. It's sort of like the Blair Witch Project of literature. Truant adds many footnotes to the text, and editorializes as well. To further complicate things, the manuscript is about a documentary that doesn't exist, The Navidson Record, which chronicles the Navidson family as they discover their house is expanding. That was a very rough overview, as Danielewski delights in adding layer after layer.

I've seen the simplified version of this concept many times in horror movies, where a building is entered that somebody can't get out of, or someone is trapped in a hallway that never ends. It's like being in a nightmare, and it is a very effective method of instilling dread and fear in the reader. This is more of a satire on academic writing than anything else, but I loved the moments of more traditional storytelling regarding the hellhouse. 

A unique, labyrinth of a novel that would make Jorge Luis Borges proud.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Written in longhand then revised with a word processor.

UP NEXT: Super-Cannes by J.G. Ballard

936. Blonde

Blonde
Joyce Carol Oates
2000

Around 740 pages

I don't know if I will watch the movie. I do know that the film contains a CGI-fetus talking to Monroe, which is some weird Ninjababy shit I don't need. I also don't think we need to continue to mythologize  Marilyn Monroe as a society. But it's a Joyce Carol Oates novel, which means it's an original and haunting story that doesn't even need to be about Marilyn Monroe.

Basically, this is a fictionalized biography of our girl, with many names changed or given aliases, like The President, The Playwright, or the Ex-Athlete. Monroe's life really did play out like literary fiction, and Oates does her due diligence in building the character, rather than simply relying on our public knowledge of Monroe's persona. 

It's hard to sustain interest for 740 pages, but this is a very detailed and moving portrait, and it's easy to see that once she started, she couldn't stop writing. It feels like a spiritual successor to Black Water, which tells the story of a young woman exploited and betrayed by older men in her life. 

Oh, and MM was totally murdered by the way, I'll die on this hill.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts: 

Adapted to film in 2022.

UP NEXT: House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski

935. Pastoralia

Pastoralia
George Saunders
2000

Around 210 pages

We finally made it to the 21st century! 90s literature was not quite as iconic as I hoped. I guess the music and television was so good that they were too busy to write great novels. We are welcomed into the current century with a short story collection, featuring stories previously published in The New Yorker.

It's a strange assortment of tales that are difficult to summarize, but suffice to say, things get pretty weird and gross. The humor was wacky and sometimes disgusting, with lots of stupid characters I didn't enjoy. The Pynchon is strong in this one.

But I won't complain too much when the stories are so brief and digestible. Just not my thing.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

The A.V. Club ranked it one of the ten best short story collections of the 2000s.

UP NEXT: Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates

934. Everything You Need

Everything You Need
A.L. Kennedy
1999
Around 545 pages

Having been bored by Looking for a Possible Dance, I wasn't excited for Kennedy's second entry on the List. And once again, we get a sex scene that attempts to ruin sex for good. 

Nathan Staples is suffering, and now we have to suffer along with him. He attempts suicide by hanging, but is unsuccessful. He wants to form a bond with his estranged daughter, Mary. Nathan is one of those protagonists who hates the world, so the experience of reading this long novel was bleak and punishing.

Kennedy has a very strange writing style. I couldn't quite put my finger on it at first, but it was just clunky, When Shakespeare turns nouns into verbs, it's charming, but I don't think Kennedy has the charm or humor to pull it off.

Way too long, and a struggle to get through. And it contained this line, which makes me want to vomit: "Each of them tasted bedroom air, thick with the low-tide spatter of protein and the sweet, shellfish surfaces of Mary’s privacy."

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Kennedy also performs as a stand up comedian.

UP NEXT: Pastoralia by George Saunders

933. Fear and Trembling

Fear and Trembling
Amelie Nothomb
1999
Around 175 pages

Fear and Trembling refers to the Japanese protocol that you should demonstrate your reverence in the presence of the Emperor with fear and trembling. Yeah, it's not a novel that will make you want to move to Japan.

Amelie is a young Belgian woman who signs a one-year contract at a Japanese company. Her Japanese is so perfect that she is forbidden from knowing the language, because her expertise shames the men at the company. Amelie's behavior highlights the differences in culture. For example, after the assault of a female coworker, Amelie tries to comfort her in the bathroom, but her coworker thinks she is trying to shame her by witnessing her tears. 

Re: the above assault. I hated it, but I understand the intent in satirizing the absolute bat shit crazy office culture. Still, it was disgusting, and she could have made her point without it. Nothomb clearly has a good sense of humor, and it's a quick read. 

We've only had a couple Belgian novels on the List before, so it's nice to boost that stat as well.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to film in 2003.

UP NEXT: Everything You Need by A.L. Kennedy

932. Timbuktu

Timbuktu
Paul Auster
1999
Around 180 pages

I'm not a huge fan of animal stories, but if there is anybody who is going to make the concept tolerable, it's Paul Auster. And it's short, so the gimmick doesn't overstay its welcome.

Mr. Bones is a dog whose homeless master Willy Christmas is dying. Christmas believes that after we die we arrive in a beautiful city called Timbuktu, but Mr. Bones worries that dogs aren't allowed in the afterlife.

I'm not a dog person, but it was interesting to see Auster challenge himself with this story. And Auster can turn the most ordinary experience into a profound and meaningful revelation. He has deep respect for all of his characters, even Mr. Bones, and he never really makes him the butt of the joke. 

Probably a disposable Paul Auster entry on the List, but I still had fun with it.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Referenced by Fionn Regan in the song "Put a Penny in the Slot" from the album The End of History.

UP NEXT: Fear and Trembling by Amelie Nothomb

931. The Romantics

The Romantics
Pankaj Mishra
1999
Around 290 pages

We are definitely in a bit of a slump here, even the good novels lately haven't been very fun. I couldn't get into this one either, as it was teeming with minor characters I didn't care about, and was about 100 pages too long.

Brahman Samar has come to the holy city of Benares to finish his education and take his civil service exam. He meets many characters that represent the culture clash of east versus west, including Rajesh, a cynical student leader. He also falls in love with a Frenchwoman.

This just felt rather aimless to me, and didn't cover anything that we haven't seen before from previous authors. I do like characters with world views that are informed by the novels they read, as it's very relatable to a List psycho like me. 

Not horrible, but skippable.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Published in 11 different languages.

UP NEXT: Timbuktu by Paul Auster

930. Cryptonomicon

Cryptonomicon
Neal Stephenson
1999
Around 920 pages

And now we have a novel that isn't fun for an entirely different reason than the previous entry. Cryptonomicon is a novel written for tech nerds, which makes it pretty boring for a hot jock like me.

The action takes place in two periods, World War II and the late 1990s, during the Internet boom and the Asian financial crisis. In 1942, Lawrence Pritchard Waterhouse, a code breaker and mathematical savant, is assigned to the newly formed joint Detachment 2702. This ultra-secret unit's role is to hide the fact that Allied intelligence has cracked the German Enigma code. At the same time, Japanese soldiers, including mining engineer Goto Dengo, are assigned to build a mysterious bunker in the mountains. In 1997, Lawrence's grandson joins his old role-playing game companion Avi Halaby in a new startup.

The storyline I most enjoyed was Goto's, but I was bored into a stupor with the 90s plot. 920 pages is a lot for this kind of writing, with its extremely detailed descriptions of math and digital currency. I'm always more interested in the human side of things, so I enjoyed the wartime drama more than the endless explanations of these complex topics.

This falls under the "not for me" category, where it's perfectly fine, but just doesn't fit my taste.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

The title is a play on Necronomicon, the title of a book mentioned in the stories of H. P. Lovecraft,

UP NEXT: The Romantics by Pankaj Mishra

929. As If I'm Not There

As If I'm Not There
Slavenka Drakulic
1999
Around 225 pages

Sometimes, the novels with sexual violence sneak up on us, but I knew going into this that the subject of the book is the mass rape that took place during the Bosnian War. So there's no question about the sexual violence being gratuitous here, like it is in so many other List novels.

I mean, there are truly no words to describe the horror of what happened during that time. Our main female character S. is pretty numb throughout the story because there is no other way to cope with the reality of the moment. 

I can only think of a handful of media that acknowledges the Bosnian War in American culture, and the examples I can remember use it as a punchline. It's so upsetting that I can't genuinely recommend putting yourself through the experience of reading S.'s account. And unlike a writer like Primo Levi, for example, Drakulic doesn't leave us with any hope in her prose. Not that she has an obligation to make us feel better about what happened, I'm just saying this is the literary equivalent of a dementor.

If we are rating by importance, power, and relevance, then absolutely, this novel deserves top marks. And it will definitely convince you the world is an evil place, if you weren't picking up on that already.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to film in 2010.

UP NEXT: Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson

928. The Ground Beneath Her Feet

The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Salman Rushdie
1999
Around 580 pages

Salman Rushdie is not my taste, but I still feel bad about bashing his every entry on the List, as I know his writing offers value to the world. And I feel extra bad that he was attacked in my home state. How could something that awful happen in a state that produced Taylor Swift? There's no sense in this world.

It's always difficult to explain the narrative in a Rushdie novel but the main thread is a variation on the Orpheus and Eurydice myth. Characteristically, the story is packed with many contemporary references ranging from political assassinations to rock and roll.

Rushdie always makes me think of how Hamilton describes himself in the musical: "I'm a polymath, a pain in the ass, a massive pain." His intellect and range is undeniably impressive, but I find his novels an absolute slog to get through. I never even come close to clicking with the characters, and I much prefer Murakami's method of integrating parallel universes.

Only one more Rushdie to get through at least.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

U2 covered the song in the novel with minor changes.

UP NEXT: As If I Am Not There by Slavenka Drakulic

927. Disgrace

Disgrace
J.M. Coetzee
1999
Around 220 pages

Stories about sexual violence against women are always upsetting reads. Stories about sexual violence against women written by men, with all the focus on the male voices are even worse.

David Lurie is a divorced professor at Cape Technical University in South Africa. He is a groomer and predator, and once his affair with a student is exposed, he takes refuge at his daughter Lucy's farm in the Eastern Cape. Father and daughter become victims of the rampant violence in post Apartheid South Africa.

Once again, women's bodies are used as symbols of exploitation and are pretty much robbed of their autonomy from start to finish. I understand the journey David needed to take, but I don't think finally having sex with somebody not physically attractive makes for awe-inspiring growth. 

J.M. Coetzee is a great writer though, so I have no complaints about pacing or style. Just really didn't another story like this, or another character like David in my life.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to film in 2008.

Won the Booker Prize.

UP NEXT: The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie

926. The Talk of the Town

The Talk of the Town
Ardal O'Hanlon
1998

Around 245 pages

Our main character Patrick Scully is supremely unlikable, but that's not why this novel was so bad. It's painfully boring, it tries too hard to be outrageous, and it's entirely inaccessible if you didn't grow up in a small town in Ireland in the 80s. 

Yet another story about a sexually frustrated teenage boy, who hates the world. It's short and dark, with a predictably depressing end. Of course, the homophobia and misogyny are true to the setting of the story, but doesn't make it easier to swallow. I wanted out of this setting, stat.

I much preferred The Butcher Boy, which explored similar themes with dark humor, and we didn't have to sit through those sexual descriptions. I never want to think about baths again.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Retitled Knick Knack Paddy Whack for US publication.

UP NEXT: Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee

925. Sputnik Sweetheart

Sputnik Sweetheart
Haruki Murakami
1999
Around 230 pages

Murakami once again presents us with something original and strange. And we really needed a good chaser after the latest Houellebecq atrocity on the List. 

I'll admit it, I love a good love triangle. K is in love with Sumire, who is in love with a woman seventeen years older than her. Sumire mentions in a letter to K that she and Miu were going to vacation on a Greek island. K then gets a call from Miu, telling him Sumire has vanished.

Murakami's prose is haunting and enchanting, and you never quite know when things are going to take a turn for the otherworldly. He bridges fantasy and reality very well, so I never feel like I am stuck in some trippy nightmare that is ultimately rendered pointless by the ending. Instead, it's like being in an ethereal dreamworld.

I always love Murakami's protagonists, maybe because they always seem to be lonely introverts searching for something. And when you put such realistic characters in a surreal setting, the writing really sparkles. Highly recommended.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Project Orange and Weatherday named songs after this novel.

UP NEXT: The Talk of the Town by Ardal O'Hanlon

924. Elementary Particles

Elementary Particles
Michel Houellebecq
1998
Around 270 pages

After reading the previous Houellebecq work, I knew this was going to be another ugly story with disturbing sexual imagery. And the List has apparently granted me psychic powers in addition to carpal tunnel syndrome, because I was spot on.

Better known by its alias Atomised, this tells the story of two half-brothers Bruno and Michel. Guess if they have a healthy relationship with sexuality? Go on, guess!

Like most of the disturbed works on the List, it was penned by a sexually frustrated man with mommy issues. And you know those guys are always fountains of wisdom. Just another myopic and misogynistic mess that is an entirely unnecessary addition to our pile of myopic and misogynistic books.

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to film in 2006.

Houellebecq's estranged mother, Lucie Ceccaldi, returned to France to publish The Innocent One, a rebuttal of his alleged mis-characterization of her parenting as contained in the novel.

UP NEXT: Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami

923. Intimacy

Intimacy
Hanif Kureishi
1998
Around 250 pages

Here's something revolutionary: a middle-aged man wants to leave his wife and children for a younger woman. But hey, they are cliches for a reason and if you want to write a novel that rings true, characters are going to behave in predictable ways.

The story takes place over the course in one day. Our main character Jay has had affairs before but this is the first time he is contemplating leaving his unhappy relationship for a mistress. Kureishi himself left his family, so I guess he wanting more representation for cheating husbands in fiction.

So obviously the conception of this novel has very self-indulgent roots, and just felt like an unnecessary addition to the List. I guess his family hated it too, and I don't blame them.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Adapted to film in 2001.

UP NEXT: Elementary Particles by Michel Houellebecq

922. Amsterdam

Amsterdam
Ian McEwan
1998
Around 210 pages

Once again, McEwan provides a much needed boost after another joyless entry on the List. What better way to start a novel than at a funeral? This was brilliant from start to finish, and might just be my favorite McEwan book so far.

At the funeral of photographer and writer Molly Lane, three of her ex lovers meet, including newspaper editor Vernon Halliday, composer Clive Linley, and British Foreign Secretary Julian Garmony. Vernon and Clive reflect on Molly's death, which was caused by rapid crippling brain disease, and make an agreement to kill each other if they ever become so helpless. Vernon is also desperate for career success, and thinks he might get the attention he seeks by publishing some unsavory photos taken by Molly.

I can't heap enough praise on Ian McEwan, who is a master at crafting rich and exciting stories. His plots always take strange turns, but the events that take place are always completely in character and provide huge pay offs.

And he always sticks the landing. No notes, the perfect novel does exist.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Received the 1998 Booker Prize.

UP NEXT: Intimacy by Hanif Kureishi